Story Time with Unaisah Episode 6

Let It Go 
By Na’ima B Robert
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We have a Telegram Channel ‘Storytime with Unaisah’ that you can check out InshaAllah.

If children’s feelings aren’t respected then when they grow up they won’t be able to respect other people’s feelings. Learning how to recognise and name the emotions is a first step toward learning how to handle both positive and negative feelings.

Emotions definitions:
Disappointed: when something does not meet our expectations.
Sad: when we feel unhappy.
Frustrated: when we feel annoyed because we can’t change something
Lonely: no friends or company 
Angry: strong annoyance or displeasure
Resentful: feeling bitter due to not being treated fairly 
Irritating: causes annoyance 

How to deal with Anger
Cursive 1 –
Cursive 2 –

Print 1 –
Print 2 –

Book Recommendation
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

The book has many tips and lessons. Here’s a summary.
The first lesson is that our behaviours show our emotions so it is important to identify the emotion BEHIND the behaviour in order to fix any problems that may occur. When we feel overwhelmed with emotions then we can try to understand what is causing us to feel that way by identifying different emotions and teaching children about how to identify different emotions so that they can convey their emotions to us.

If a situation causes a child to get overwhelmed then we should try to understand the situation from their point of view so that we can understand them better instead of making them feel worse. Like if they are unable to tie their shoelace, they may get frustrated and not want to wear their shoes anymore but instead of getting angry we should help them learn how to tie their shoes so that they can avoid the same situation in the future.

The second lesson that can be taken away from this book is that instead of punishing children for misbehaving we should try to encourage them to work together with us to help reduce the amount of problems we may experience. So instead of accusing them, we should try to explain what the problem is and how they can help us fix it. So if a child drops water on the floor, instead of saying ‘You are messing the floor!’ – we can instead say that ‘Water damages the floor so we should avoid leaving it on the floor if we can’.’

We should explain our emotions to children as well as understanding their emotions. We should make them understand how their behaviour affects how we feel. So we can try to come up with solutions with them.

The third thing is to help children gain self confidence as dependence can lead to children feeling frustration, resentment or helplessness. We should praise children so that they become confident in their abilities but there is a line, as too much praise can lead to them acting spoiled and entitled.

One way to help children gain self confidence is to offer a choice between 2 or 3 things that they are able to do by themselves in a safe way and that can help them gain confidence in their skills. If they struggle with a task, we should help and encourage them before doing it for them as then they will not be able to learn how to fix an issue for themselves.

There is a hadith that shows the importance of forgiving others.
The Prophet, peace be upon him, was sitting with a group of Companions in the Masjid and he told them ‘A man will enter who is from the people of Paradise.’ A man walked in and Abdullah ibn Amr wanted to find out what was so special about this man so he asked the man if he could stay with him for 3 days without mentioning what the Prophet, peace be upon him, said and the man allowed him to do so.

While staying with the man in his house, Abdullah noticed that the man did not do any extra deeds like fasting all the time or spending the whole night in prayer. So after 3 days, Abdullah told him about what the Prophet , peace be upon him, said and he asked the man what was the reason that made him from the people of Paradise. At first the man could not think of a reason why but after a while he said ‘Every night before I go to sleep, I forgive whoever has wronged me. I remove any bad feelings towards anyone from my heart.’

The man made a habit of forgiving those who had wronged him but many of us still hold grudges, resentment or bitterness towards those who wrong us regardless of if they are strangers or family.

We should forgive for the sake of Allah, remembering that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent” (Ibn Majah).

Forgiving is important in order to gain spiritual, psychological, and health benefits. We should develop the habit of forgiving regularly. Whether it is right before bed, or on Monday and Thursday mornings, let us embrace this powerful spiritual tool that will bring us closer to our Creator.


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